studio1009

I have a physical subscription to The Atlantic magazine. I'm saving the magazine as an archive of the USA's fall into autocracy.

The Feb 2025 issue cover story is "The Anti-Social Century" by staff writer Derek Thompson. A friend of mine was interested in my opinion. I agreed with some of the article’s points. Starting in the 1970's, the automobile and TV started separating people. There are fewer places to gather that welcomed young people and didn’t expect money to be spent. Phones and streaming just amplified what started with TV. The article notes there are fewer small social events at home like dinner and card parties. New houses are being designed for television viewing, not entertaining. Fewer people eating a restaurants, but lots of take out and delivery. Even churches and social service clubs are waning. This results in the loss of "neededness" and social disconnectiont.  "Neededness" is feeling you have a purpose in society even if it is just bringing the dip to the poker party. 

The article missed the fact that with both parents in the work force, kids couldn’t go home with their friends after school. Parents’ fear of safety limited how far they let their kids roam. Having to work multiple jobs left little time and energy for socializing. It missed the fact that people are eating at home because restaurants are loud, tipping is excessive, and servers are intrusive. Activities such as concert tickets are too expensive.

The article had the interesting idea that low socializing caused more political polarization. But it missed the role of media framing politics in war and sports metaphors. The article didn’t mention that mass shooters are also a result of this social disconnection. Social disconnection results in a lack of empathy.  I imagine those shooters didn’t have a lot of friends; which is hard for men in the best of times. Because they don’t have casual contact with people of different views and lifestyles, they more easily can blame others for their problems.

The article went on to speculate how isolation might get worse with AI. Since a lot of interaction with friends is over text, you can have AI friends that are always supportive and there for you.

I saw some of this disconnection with my children because both of us worked and we live in the suburbs. Playdates were arranged. Few neighbors with same aged children limited spontaneous friendships. They did find some school-based activities like choir and sports. Fortunately, I did not have to deal with teenagers and smart phones. As far as socializing myself I’m at a disadvantage because I can’t hear well. It is stressful to listen to people especially in noisy places, so being alone is definitely more peaceful for me. I can’t remember if I was extroverted before I started losing my hearing. I also have that “misplaced anxiety that other people aren’t that interested in talking with” me. I know that is wrong,  even now people will graciously repeat themselves when having a conversation. During COVID, I did realize that I do need to socialize. The library needlework group began meeting over Zoom and that saved me. I host two parties a year and attend a friends monthly record listening gathering despite not really being able to hear the records. I was teaching crochet to middle-schoolers who were not bothered by my hearing impairment. The local senior center also has a number of social things such as making greeting cards and painting. I can do all these things by myself, but it is apparently good for my health to do them with people.  Even though it is inconenient I will continue to seek them out. 

It will be more important during the current regime that we find and build our community.